Archives for February 2009

A Better Alert

I just got the following notification from Compass Bank:

Regarding Debit Card Ending: xxxx (my number redacted)

Dear Compass Cardholder,

At Compass, we believe one of our most important jobs is to provide the highest possible level of security for our customers.

In our efforts to do so, you will soon be receiving a new check card with a new number that will replace your existing card. Your new card should arrive within the next 7 to 10 days.

You are receiving a new debit card because Visa recently notified Compass Bank that some of our customer’s debit card numbers, among those at other banks, may have been stolen when a third-party vendor’s system was compromised. Upon receiving this information, we immediately took the necessary action to protect you from any potential threat.

Please activate this new check card immediately by calling 1-800-COMPASS (800-266-7277) or stopping by any Compass Banking Center or ATM. Once your new card is activated, your existing card will no longer work. Your existing card number will be deactivated automatically within 30 days and will no longer be available for you to use. If you have not received your new card within the next two weeks, please contact us at the number listed below.

For your convenience, the PIN (Personal Identification Number) for your new card is the same as the one you used with your existing card. There is nothing to indicate that your PIN was compromised; however, you can change your PIN by bringing your card to any Compass Banking Center.

If you have recurring payments charged to your existing check card, we will attempt to transfer them to your new card. However, we suggest that you also contact the merchants and inform them that your check card number has been changed. Please let us know if we can assist you in any way during this transition.

Rest assured we are committed to doing everything possible to protect you and your account. If you have any questions or concerns regarding this matter, please do not hesitate to contact us at 1-866-551-1675. For more information on this matter or to access our FAQs, please visit www.compassbank.com/notice/debit.

Sincerely,

(name of executive redacted, as someone else likely wrote this with approval)
Compass Bank
Assistant Vice President
Customer Service

Kudos for being clear, and even better for being clear that it wasn’t their fault.

But, I can’t help but think that it might have been a little plainer:

Dear Mr. Pigott

You know that card you have that ends in XXXX? We’re changing it for you. We don’t want to, because it’s expensive and it’s a royal pain in the butt for you, but VISA tells a whole batch of numbers from a whole batch of banks has been compromised.

There’s a new card coming your way in the next 7 to 10 days: watch for it, and activate it when you get it, because we’re ditching the old one within 30 days regardless. If the new one isn’t there in two weeks, raise holy hell with us, because one way or another your old card is going to stop working.

Your PIN number wasn’t compromised and it will still work, and we’re busting our humps to make sure any automatic drafts you had going through the old numbered account will flip over to the new one. If you have any questions, call 1-866-551-1675.

We’re just as ticked as you are. Maybe more.

Really, we are!

(Xxxx Xxxxxxxxx)
Compass Bank
Assistant Vice President
Customer Service

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Five cars a minute

I’ve had fun doing the little 12 second videos, and I will continue to do them. (Most do not appear here, a few of them do.)

Now my updates on 12seconds.tv are being followed by a Detroit used-car dealership, which is putting up 12 second videos of its own.

It’s like a late-night infomercial (with no sound), available to me a la carte! No waiting! No pitchman!

And if I click really fast, I can look at five used cars every minute.

At least they are being up front about it.

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Katie’s Mountain View Valentine

katie-and-googleApparently, Katie Couric also enjoys a healthy side income from Google.

Things must be bad at CBS News in New York, when its star anchor is forced into sleazy MLM web ads.

Actually, the funny piece about this is that even if Google sent her checks valued at $27,383 every day, it would still be a losing proposition for Couric, whose $15,000,000 salary equates to daily checks of $41,095.

There are 22 minutes of “news hole” in an evening news broadcast, so Couric makes $1,868 dollars for every minute she (or her substitute) is on the air, or a paltry $31.13 per second.

Can we sign her up for a bailout?

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Interdit

facebook-ad-with-anchorOkay, I’m pretty sure the woman in question didn’t authorize her face to be used in this Facebook ad.

The woman in the picture is Melissa Theuriau, and she’s quite easy to find. Just do a Google search for “French anchor” and she’s the first several results that come up. She’s attracted quite an internet following, based on fanboy sites and Maxim Magazine exposure (not to mention self-exposure at several nude beaches.)

But hey, she’s a public figure now, right? So why not do a cheap little photochop job on her to pimp your wares!

At least he only does it for fun.

(Interdit is French for “forbidden,” which is what Google Translate tells me. Which is also more than Google has told this affiliate weasel who is running her picture.)

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Loyalty

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Procrastination

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A Kids’ Guide to Casinos

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