communication. community. cognition.
Posts tagged Parody
Global Dominance
Dec 2nd
(Inspired by this.)
Birmingham, AL (NOPRWEB) December 2, 2008 — What’s better than soaring to the top of a popular social networking site? How about being at the very top of the entire planet? That’s the envious position The Personal Brander, Ike Pigott, found himself in last month when he entered the Twitter elite. Proving just how powerful his Internet marketing promotional strategies are, Pigott not only became a top Birmingham Twitterer, but has now expanded his territory where he currently outranks all members of the site on Planet Earth. Internet marketers who would like to follow The Personal Brander’s tweets and improve their own promotional efforts can do so online at http://twitter.com/ikepigott.
According to Nielson Online, Twitter is the fastest growing social networking site, achieving a 343% growth rate between September 2007 and September 2008. For obvious reasons, landing in the top tier of this social media giant could boost an Internet marketer’s career, but accomplishing it for all of Planet Earth is an almost guaranteed catapult into the stratosphere. Or beyond, into the solar system. Well, that’s exactly what Ike Pigott has just done.
As of press time, he sat firmly in the number one slot among all Planet Earth Twitterers. That position places him handily ahead of the big competition: Home Depot, Matt Bacak, and Stephen Colbert. Consistently ranking in his planet’s top ten, Pigott also ranks 304 out of 549,000 Twitterers with accounts.
Wikipedia describes Twitter as a “social networking and micro-blogging service that allows users to send and read other users’ updates (a.k.a. “tweets”), which are text-based posts of up to 140 characters in length. The service touts itself as a way to communicate and stay connected with others through the exchange of quick, frequent answers to one simple question: What are you doing? By one measure, Twitter had well over five million visitors in September 2008. That figure represents a fivefold increase in just one month and equates to three out of every 1,000 Internet users.
In addition to his prowess over Twitter, Pigott is proud to have previously held the number 1 ranking on Technorati.
“Anyone can call their promotional abilities ‘powerful’ but I actually prove that mine are,” says Ike Pigott of his most recent accomplishment. “I consistently rank in the top 500 Twitterers on the Net. If you were an Internet marketer who wanted to improve your promotional game, who would you trust? Someone who is all talk and no action, or someone who actually walks the talk?”
For more information on Pigott’s ascent to the Twitter top, contact Amber Naslund at (847) 302-3471. To learn more about the promotional strategies Pigott leveraged to get there, visit him online at http://occamsrazr.com
[tags]Ike Pigott, Occam’s RazR, top 500 twitterers, internet marketer, promotional strategies, twitter, Personal Brander, technorati, social media, micro-blogging, social networking[/tags]
Painfully Fast
Nov 18th
Motrin screwed up with an ad that didn’t resonate well with mothers. I’m not going to get into that kerfuffle which is documented elsewhere with more detail than I care to ponder.
Here’s the ad:
Within a couple of days, here is the response:
Funny, but instructive. The tools of quality mockery and parody are now in the hands of the people. For those familiar with the first ad (even on one viewing,) the second one is as good as anything Saturday Night Live might have cooked up. When the tools for response were available to dozens, such an effort wouldn’t have been probable.
Now, among the millions who had access to the technology and know-how, you had at least two people who also had nothing better to do over a weekend. Now we can all be closet Gutenbergs, publishing our own issue of Mad Magazine anytime we want.
[tags]Ike Pigott, Occam’s RazR, Motrin, YouTube, consumer generated media, parody[/tags]
The Sub-Prime Primer
Oct 22nd
Due credit goes to Tim Walker over at Hoover’s Business Insight Zone, for pointing out the need for a sub-prime primer. However, as the parent of a four-year-old and a four-year-old who just inherited an additional $540 billion in bailout this week (on top of the $840 billion that everyone already knew about,) I felt the need to write a primer that speaks to them.
Actually, any primer that speaks to them ought to start with an apology, followed by sentencing guidelines for the weasels responsible. With any luck, I can get my daughter to illustrate it. Without further adieu, here is the Occam’s RazR Sub-Prime Primer.
Meet Dick
This is Dick.
Dick has a nice shirt.
Dick has a nice tie.
Dick has a nice suit.
Dick owns a bank.Meet Joe
This is Joe.
Joe has a job.
Joe wants a house.
Joe does his job and gets paid.
He puts his check in the bank.
He puts his check in Dick’s bank.Joe’s House
Joe wants a house.
Joe does not have lots of cash.
Dick says “Hey Joe. I can give you a loan.
You come to my bank. I see your check.
I know you will pay me back.”
Joe signs his name.
Joe moves in his new house.Meet Tom
This is Tom.
Tom wants a house too.
Tom has a check that is not as big as Joe’s.
Some days, Tom has no check at all.
Dick likes Tom, but will not give him a loan.
Dick wants to be sure he will be paid back.Frank is in the House
This is Frank.
Frank has lots of friends. They vote for Frank, and send Frank to D.C.
Frank wants to stay in D.C., so Frank does what his friends want.
Frank thinks he’ll have more friends if he can put more people in houses.
Frank wants to put Tom in a house.The Phone Call
Dick gets a call at work.
“Hi Dick,” says Frank.
“Hi Frank,” says Dick.
“I want you to put more people into a house,” says Frank.
“But Frank, what if Tom can’t pay me back?” says Dick.
“Too bad,” says Frank. “I will make your bank small. I will let some other Dick buy your bank.”
“But I will lose my shirt,” Dick says.
Frank says “Put Tom in a house. It will be okay.”
Frank says “My friends Fannie and Fred will help.”Pretty Bubbles
Tom gets a house.
Jane gets a house.
Bill gets a house.
Betsy gets a house.
Everyone gets a house.
So many people want a house, that it costs more to buy a house.
Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy all ask Dick for more money.
Dick is happy, and buys more shirts.The Bubble Pops
One day, the shiny houses are not new.
Tom wants to sell his house.
Jane wants to sell her house.
Bill wants to sell his house.
Betsy wants to sell her house.
Now a house does not cost much at all.
But Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy do not have the cash to pay Dick.
Dick will lose his shirt.Pass the Buck
“Hi Frank, this is Dick.”
“Who are you?” said Frank.
“Frank, I am Dick. I own a bank. You told me to put people in houses.”
“What is your problem?” said Frank.
Dick said, “The people in the houses cannot pay me back.”
“That is too bad for you,” said Frank.
“What about Fannie and Fred?” said Dick.
“You have too many shirts,” said Frank. “All you Dicks with banks are bad, bad men.”
Dick did not know what to do.Dick went to Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy.
“I need my money,” Dick said.
“We don’t have any money,” said Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy.
“Then why did you buy a house if you could not pay?” asked Dick.
“Fannie and Fred will pay you,” said Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy.
Dick asked Fannie and Fred for help.
They said “Go see Frank.”Bad to be a Bank
Dick still has his bank.
But Dick does not have money to help people.
Dick has no money to loan people.
Even people like Joe.
Joe has a job.
But Joe cannot get a loan to give jobs to more people.Frank’s Friend Hank
Frank went to his friend Hank.
“Fannie and Fred need more money,” said Frank.
Hank said “What do you mean, Frank?”
Frank said “Fannie and Fred need more money to help Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy.”
Hank said “We can’t give money to Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy. Joe will get mad.”
Frank said “We’ll take care of all of the Joes. We’ll tell them they cannot make more jobs until we help Fannie and Fred.”
Hank said “Fannie and Fred can help all those Dicks with banks.”Hank did not have enough money to help Fannie and Fred.
Hank went to print some more money.
Hank cannot just make money.
He has to borrow it from Joe’s children.
One day, Joe’s children will be mommies and daddies.
Their little boys and girls will have to pay it back.Frank Stays in the House
Frank has a new house.
Frank has a new shirt.
Frank has a new tie.
Frank has a new suit.
Frank says Joe has to pay Hank, so Hank can pay Fannie and Fred, so Fannie and Fred can pay Tom and Jane and Bill and Betsy.
Frank tells his friends that Dick is to blame.
Dick loses his shirt.
Joe loses his shirt.
Hank has the bank.
Frank’s friends send him back to DC.
Now… who how much will you pay to hear my daughter recite it and illustrate it? I’m taking bids, she needs the money. Hank’s interest is piling up as we speak. Suddenly Halloween doesn’t seem as scary as it used to…
The Math of Sin
Mar 11th
I saw a headline today, referring to the Eliot Spitzer saga:
The Spitzer Scandal: Lust Plus Pride
Then, I recalled seeing this attempt to explain the Seven Deadly Sins (from Jessica Hagy):
According to Jessica’s chart, Lust + Pride = Trophy Wife.
So, using the Associative Property of Addition, we can see that:
The Spitzer Scandal = Trophy Wife.
A fun, yet faulty conclusion.
But… you want to know the interesting part? Look at Jessica’s card, closely. What is the line that shows the connection between “Lust” and “Pride”?
It is AG. And Eliot Spitzer is the former Attorney General of the state of New York. Jessica Hagy has been sitting on this information for more than a year now, and could only tell us in code! If only we were smart enough to read the obvious signs…
So, what other scandals might she have predicted? Does the “BG = Fat Men in Speedoes” portend embarrassing pictures of Barry Gibb in his undies? Add your conclusions to the comments below…
[tags]Ike Pigott, Occam’s RazR, pop culture, Eliot Spitzer, humor, Jessica Hagy, Seven Deadly Sins[/tags]
Help Me Say Goodbye
Dec 30th
2007 2008
Well, [insert year] has been another one of those years. We’ve laughed together, cried together, and huddled together.
Remember [insert mental trigger for funny anecdote]? And then how we [insert anecdote others wish to forget]? Good times, to be sure.
Then we all endured the [insert landmark negative cultural event]. Remember where you were when [event] happened? I was [needless maudlin detail that will forever be linked to mammoth event].
2008 will surely be better. [Significant other] and I will ring it in with style by [make something up, so it doesn't sound like you'll be at home in your jammies watching Ryan f-----g Seacrest]. I have already resolved to [insert litany of self-improvement ideals that will be forgotten by February]. And, I boldly predict that [insert tech company] will [business detail], rendering [insert relevant technology] obsolete!
Anyway, thanks for being a part of Occam’s RazR this year. On your way out, please leave a comment with your blog address. It’s my way of linking back to you, because I am too lazy to maintain a real list myself. (Seriously, help me say goodbye to 2007 below.)
Regards…
Ike.
[tags]Ike Pigott, Occam’s RazR, 2007, 2008[/tags]
Writers’ Strike
Dec 19th
I’m might just engage in a little strike solidarity myself in the coming days – just don’t want to promise to feed the RazR as tempting as it might be. While the strike by the Writers’ Guild of America has yet to pound us with the blunt-force that is 24/7 reality programming, it is already having a profound effect on newsmakers and celebrities.
Truth be told, this is a great time to have a crisis. No late-night comedy shows and no SNL to extend the news cycle on your misery. Imagine – if you will – the staffs of Leno, Letterman, and the Daily Show setting their sights on poor Jamie Lynn Spears. I have some sympathy for her plight, being a 16-year-old pregnant celebrity. But I am also a father of a five-year-old who has been exposed to enough “Zoey 101″ spots on the Disney Channel to know who Spears is. (But not her trampy older sister.)
So, taking (or stealing) a page from our friends over at Media Orchard, here’s what you’re missing with all the repeats in the late night talk shows.
“Producers at the Disney Channel say the fourth season is already in the can, and with some minor tweaking, expect to roll out season five as Zoey 101+1.”
“It was a great week for the underdogs. For the first time in a full year, the Miami Dolphins won a football game and Dina Lohan lost the title of Hollywood’s Worst Mom.”
“Jamie Lynn Spears is being praised by conservatives for her desire to keep her unborn child. She even says she wants to raise the baby in Louisiana, so it can have a normal family life. Critics note there is nothing normal about waiting until 16 in Louisiana, especially when cousins are not involved.”
Enough. Here’s advice on how to talk to your tweeners about it.
[tags]Ike Pigott, Occam’s RazR, Jamie Lynn Spears, news, pop culture, celebrity, WGA, demotivation[/tags]
