“Why use a 50-cent word when a 5-cent word will do?” That advice needs to be adjusted for inflation, because we live in the age of Million Dollar Language.
I saw a billboard on the way in to work, highlighting a contest being run by a local bank. Being the stickler for language that I am, something caught in my frontal lobe and wouldn’t rattle out:
“Someone could win one million dollars.”
The contest is called the “Make Life Interesting Sweepstakes,” by AmSouth/Regions (the Reese’s Peanut Butter Cup of bank mergers; two great banks that couldn’t bear the thought of being someone else’s minor appendage, so they joined forces like the last two good looking people from the shipwreck.)
Anyway, it was the peculiar word choice that compelled my double-take on the interstate.
“Someone could win one million dollars.”
Not the most confidence-inspiring verbage there. Either of the examples below would seem to pack more daring and punch:
- “Someone will win one million dollars.”
- “You could win one million dollars.”
Instinct told me that there was no way, no how that the marketing department at RegSouth/Amions could have allowed this to slip through without a darn good reason. And that reason is… there’s no guarantee of a million dollar prize.
Each week for 19 weeks, the banks will pull a winner from each entry pool (those who start eligible accounts at Chocolate are entered separately from PeanutButter, or you could enter each with a Vanilla 3×5 index card.) Those 38 winners each get $10,000 – and a chance to compete for the $1,000,000. This is not a random drawing, but rather a “Big Event” where you must be present to compete. (The banks pick up your airfare to this as-yet-undisclosed location.) But the odds listed on the official contest rules spell it out. 1:1000 chance.
The whole contest is legal, and everything appears to be above board. I may even have to scrounge up a couple of 3×5 Vanillas, as $10,000 is nothing to sneeze at. But it does feel nice to have my instinct validated with regards to the word selection.
(Disclosure: I have many friends who work at both banks. I have been an account-holder at both banks, and left each institution on good terms. As a matter of fact, I left each one for the same reason: I moved, and the nearest branch was too far away.
I would bank with either one again in a heartbeat – although now that the chocolate has moved in for good 
with the peanut butter, it would be a Reese’s binge. I may have to wait for a bigger bank to buy them both, so I can escalate this metaphor into some delicious Moose Tracks territory…)
